How Male Partners and Others Can Support Women During Menopause

How to fix the problem

To destigmatize and demystify menopause, Parish said we must first turn to the medical community and motivate physicians to talk not only with women about it, but to also involve their male partners in the conversation.

“When they’re treating a menopausal woman, physicians should ask her to bring her partner in,” Parish said. “They need to do this more routinely and more consistently. They are starting to do this for men who have erectile dysfunction, but not for women going through menopause.”

With more education on menopause, men may better understand the transition and how it affects their loved ones.

What men — and others — can do to show support

To help support women who are experiencing menopausal symptoms, Mary Jane Minkin, M.D., a practicing gynecologist at the Yale School of Medicine with a special interest in menopause, recommends that male partners encourage women to speak openly with their healthcare providers about what they are going through in regards to menopause.

“Make sure she gets a provider who will really listen to her,” Minkin said. “There’s a lot we can offer to help with symptoms.”

Additionally, partners should be mindful of the little things — like keeping clean bedclothes next to her at night so she can have a dry outfit ready to change into if she sweats through her pajamas.

“Also, if you see she is getting testy, don’t offer her a glass of wine,” Minkin said. “A lot of women turn to wine to calm down, but it makes things worse by precipitating hot flashes, causing her to wake up hotter.”

If a woman needs to sleep in a cool bedroom, her partner may also want to consider getting a dual control electric blanket so they can keep their side of the bed warmer, if desired.

But being supportive to people experiencing menopausal symptoms shouldn’t fall on the male partner’s shoulders alone. All types of partners, including family members, friends and even colleagues, can be there for people as they go through this often uncomfortable transition.

Even bosses should be tuned into what’s happening (if the employee so wishes) and sensitive to what she needs to be content at work during the menopause transition.

“One simple thing that people — including work colleagues and managers — can do is to make her environment more friendly,” said Minkin. “Let her control the thermostat and understand that she needs the room a bit cooler … Give her windows that she can open and adjust herself. Consider flexible hours that accommodate her body clock. It’s all very simple, but it helps.”

A little support can go a long way.