- Talk with each other. Ask your partner to tell you, very softly, how your body feels as he or she touches you, how it feels as he or she strokes you. Don't let your partner do all the talking, however. Make sure you share with him or her your own thoughts about your lovemaking. Another option is to tell each other what you're going to do or what you'd like to do.
- Put on some music. Something erotic and sexy or something you both enjoy listening to. We can't tell you exactly what that is-it's whatever turns you on. You might even consider making a playlist in your mp3 player just for lovemaking!
- Dress sexy. Don't just go to bed in your ratty old flannel nightgown. Make yourself beautiful for your lover. Try a silky chemise or a gauzy peignoir.
- Act sexy. Arouse your partner through your actions. Let your partner watch as you prepare for bed, sensuously brushing your hair and rubbing cream into your skin. Or, on the far end of the spectrum, how about teasing your partner with your body.
- Play dress up. Share your fantasies with each other, then consider hitting a costume store to make them come true. But remember, all fantasies do not have to be acted upon or discussed.
- Watch a romantic movie, an erotic film or an instructive video. Non-exploitive DVDs are available.
- Take a deep breathe. Because humans emit pheromones, scents that may play a role in our attraction to one another - use them! Consider skipping the scented soap and lotions and leave the perfume and cologne bottles alone.
- Fill your room with the scents of desire. Vanilla, musk and sandalwood could work.
- Experiment with foods. There are many foods that people like to associate with sex, from oysters to chocolate covered strawberries. You may also consider experimenting with different tastes including foods that are sweet, salty, spicy, bitter or sour.
- Cook a meal together. Work together with your partner to make a scrumptious meal. Taking the time to do this may help you to focus on one another and relax. You may even want to feed each other!
- Go out for a romantic meal. Pick one of your favorite restaurants or be adventurous and find a new place - possibly one that is dark with candles?
- Have dessert in bed. Consider bringing foods into the bedroom and feed each other as part of your foreplay. We're thinking of foods like strawberries with whipped cream, crème brulee or ice cream with warm chocolate sauce.
- Close your eyes. Consider closing your eyes and relaxing so that you only focus on what you are feeling as your sense of touch heightens.
- Experience silky. Make your bed with silk or satin sheets. While not terribly practical for sleeping, they can add an entirely new dimension to lovemaking. For a more affordable option, there are also sprays that make your sheets feel silky.