It’s another day that ends in “y” and you know that means — it’s time to talk sex toys! More specifically, sex toys for couples.
If you and your partner are looking for new ways to explore your hotness together — sex toys can dial up the heat between the sheets — or wherever you’re getting it on (winks).
Pretty much any sex toy can be fair game for couples. But there are specific toys designed with partners in mind. Think dual vibration devices, penis rings and even toys you can turn on from a different time zone.
Thanks to all the online retailers out there, you can get most sex toys delivered right to your door. However, shopping with your partner for sex toys is always a good idea so you’re both on the same page regarding what you like and what you’re comfortable with.
After all, nothing says awkward like a surprise strap-on, said pretty much everyone we know.
“It's about really finding what works for the two of you,” said Heather Bartos, M.D., OB-GYN, host of the SEX podcast and a member of HealthyWomen’s Women’s Health Advisory Council.
Bartos explores the benefits of sex and toys among other saucy subjects in her new book, Quickies: One Hundred Little Lessons for Living Sexily Ever After in Midlife. Chapter 59, “Why You Should Put a C**k Ring on It,” is particularly intriguing.
“Trying something new creates dopamine and dopamine is the pleasure center of the brain. So, when we try something new like a sex toy or cosplay, it’s creating dopamine and it's interesting and it brings back novelty, and novelty keeps the bedroom really fresh and alive.”
Before using any toy, check for imperfections. Bartos said to run your hands over the surface to feel for any chips, cracks or rough spots that may hurt super sensitive areas (cringy — we know — but that’s the point!) And keep your toys clean to avoid infections. Most intimate props can be cleaned with mild soap and water unless otherwise noted.
With so many sex toys in the sea, we asked Bartos for types of sex toys you and your partner may want to couple-up with on your love island:
Penis rings
Now we get the whole “ring on it” thing. These circular wonders are worn at the base of the penis to help keep it erect. This means longer erections and more time for you to enjoy the ride to the big O.
Penis rings aren’t new — they’ve been around for centuries — and used to be made out of very non-sexy-stuff like goat eyelids. But thankfully, today’s rings are evolved and typically made of silicone or metal, and can include vibration features that stimulate the clitoris during sex. Basically, a hands-free, built-in vibrator that stimulates both partners. Double bonus: Vibrating rings aren’t exclusive to a penis — they work with fingers and toys, too.
Read: The Science Behind Orgasms: What’s Going on When You’re Getting It On>>
Strap-on dildos
If you’re channeling your inner Callie from The Hunting Wives or just looking to switch things up, a penile prosthetic can help flip the penetration — also called pegging — script. “This can be done with two women as well, but it's the idea now that you're giving to somebody else, and it's a nice change for the man to think about receiving and how that feels,” Bartos said.
Strap-on dildos typically look like jock straps and come in various sizes. Bartos noted that you can’t try it before you buy it, so it’s a good idea to start small and build your way up.
Vibrators
iStock.com/Viktoriia Yanchuk
Vibrators are one of the most popular sex toys for couples — and if you’re a fan of “personal massagers,” you know why. All those good vibrations help stimulate the vagina, which increases arousal and lubrication and the chances of having an orgasm (yes, please!).
Vibrators are very versatile — you can use them on other parts of the body, play around with the type of vibration and swap turns with your partner. In fact, your partner doesn’t even have to be in the same country to participate in vibrator time thanks to some app-enabled toys.
For in-person, penetrative sex, U-shaped vibrators are the go-to for dual stimulation. And while vibrators can be a good companion piece, Bartos noted that it’s important to remember that it’s a robot. “Bring out the vibrator as part of it, but don't just rely on the vibrator as the only source of passion or orgasm for either partner.”
Costumes
Maybe your partner is the new superhero on the block looking to rock your world. Or you’re the sexy doctor who just got home from a satisfying day of helping women make educated decisions about their health. (That’s hot!)
Role playing can be an easy way for partners to try something new and incorporate props like whips, handcuffs — stethoscopes — anything to get the heart pumping.
And you don’t have to spend a lot or go over the top. You know that Spirit Halloween shop that pops up every year? Take your person there and see what you both like in your budget. Or browse online for ideas.
“It’s a fun thing to pick out costumes together. And it doesn't matter what you look like as long as you're willing to go there and you're willing to make fun of yourself and just laugh at the situation. It doesn't have to be serious,” Bartos said.
Toy trouble
Sex toys can bring fun and adventure to your sex life, but if they’re the only thing turning you on — you may want to consider recoupling. “If the only way the woman receives pleasure is through a sex toy and the partner is not working to remedy that — that's a red flag,” Bartos said.
