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By Susan Kellogg-Spadt, CRNP, PhD

Professor of Obstetrics/Gynecology
Drexel University College of Medicine
Philadelphia, PA
Director of Female Sexual Medicine
Center for Pelvic Medicine
Bryn Mawr, PA

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Q: How can I improve my own and my partner's orgasm?

Nearly all women are physically capable of orgasm at some time during their lifetime, although women vary in terms of how often, how many and under what circumstances they experience orgasm. A woman's capacity for and type of orgasm can change over her lifespan, so it is important to understand the uniqueness of your experience. What "facilitates" or "improves" an orgasm for you may not make any difference in an orgasm for another woman.

Here are some tips that have been found by some women to enhance orgasm:

  1. Consider changing your position. Some positions are more prone to help women achieve an orgasm. For example, the "coital alignment technique," or CAT is a modified missionary position that provides stimulation to a woman's clitoris more so than other sexual positions.
  2. Strengthen your pelvic floor muscles. These are the same muscles you use to stop the flow of urine; the same muscles used in doing a "Kegel" exercise. Toning these muscles may increase the potential for orgasm.
  3. Ask your partner to increase touching. Clitoral stimulation combined with intercourse can increase the likelihood of orgasm, as well as improve orgasm intensity. Consider touching yourself during intercourse as self stimulation can often provide the most intense orgasms.
  4. Stay Focused! During sex, work hard to keep your mind "in the moment" and off of household or work-related "to-do lists."
  5. Consider trying a vibrator. Women who use vibrators often have more positive "sexual function," which includes desire, arousal and orgasm.
  6. Have more sex. With each orgasm you have, you may increase the strength of the vagina, labia and clitoris. Somewhat comparable to a muscle, the stronger it gets, the better it works.