As soon as you discover you’re pregnant, you’ll probably rush to tell your partner—if you weren’t already holding your breath together over the pregnancy test. But when and how do you tell everyone else?
There is no right answer. Deciding when to tell people you’re pregnant is a personal decision—and often a complex one.
Some women opt to wait 12 or 13 weeks before sharing the news with anyone other than their partner. While there are no rules, there are some benefits to waiting even a few weeks:
- You can avoid being overwhelmed early on by unsolicited advice and questions from family members, not to mention gently used baby paraphernalia and books from well-intentioned friends.
- You delay fending off casual conversation about your pregnancy (it will be several months before you begin to show).
- You may have additional information to share, such as the baby’s gender and due date.
- You have time to consider how to inform your employer. Generally, telling your boss the news simply, directly and privately is best.
- You have time to think about what your plans will be after the baby is born, particularly in regards to returning to work.
- You wait until the risk of miscarriage drops. That risk is highest in the first trimester of pregnancy and drops substantially in the second trimester. Most gestational health authorities agree that 10 percent to 25 percent of pregnancies will end spontaneously. For healthy women of reproductive age, the numbers are closer to 15 percent to 20 percent. Waiting until the second trimester to make your announcement may protect you from having to face others with the news, if the unthinkable happens.
Not all women or health care professionals agree with the logic about miscarriages. When no one knows but you, you may feel like you’re suffering alone if something goes wrong. Sharing the news early can ensure that a large group of friends and family exists for support if you need it.
How you tell the world is up to you. Maybe you want to have fun with it? Spell it out on a cake, drop verbal clues or drink water when everyone else goes for the wine and see how long it takes your friends to figure it out. Social media lets you announce it to your whole social network all at once, if you so choose. It’s a joyous occasion, so don’t hold back if you don’t want to.
