Emily Jamea, Ph.D., is a sex therapist, best-selling author and speaker. You can find her here each month to share her latest thoughts about sex.
I had spent about four months working with Lauren and Jason, a couple in their mid 50’s, on the sexual decline they’d suffered over the last decade of their relationship. Like most couples in long-term relationships, they’d experienced ebbs and flows in desire over their 20-year partnership — a dip after kids, a surge after a good vacation — but things had dwindled so significantly in recent years, they were contemplating a split. Fortunately, I was able to help them breathe life back into their relationship. At their last session, Lauren asked if she could get my opinion on her 25-year-old daughter, Katie.
Lauren chuckled. “I feel crazy asking this because it is on the other side of the spectrum from the concerns my parents had about me when I was her age, but as far as I know, Katie has only had sex a handful of times, and she’s never had a long-term relationship.”
Lauren didn’t know how to feel. Her daughter was bright, kind and ambitious, but a part of Lauren felt concerned. Should she be relieved her daughter wasn’t boy crazy the way she once was, or worried that she hadn’t yet experienced the deep emotional connection, heartbreak and passion that she always thought was a rite of passage?
“You’re not off-base,” I reassured her.
“Your question sits right at the heart of what researchers are calling a ‘global sex recession.’ Around the world and across all generations, people are having less sex. Younger adults, like Katie, show the greatest decline. It’s a trend with complex causes and major consequences for health, emotional development and intimate relationships.”
While I hadn’t outright labeled Lauren and Jason as victims of the sex recession, her question sparked a conversation about this broader social issue. I pointed out that the factors that contributed to the recent, steep decline in her own marriage were most likely similar to those that have impacted her daughter.
What’s behind the sex recession?
One of the most widely cited large-scale studies found that:
- American adults reported having sex about nine fewer times per year in the early 2010s compared to the late 1990s.
- The decline was partly attributed to a growing share of adults who were unpartnered, but the study also identified decreased sexual frequency even among partnered adults.
- Declines in sexual frequency were similar across gender, race, region, educational level and work status and were largest among those in their 50s (like Lauren and Jason), those with school-age children, and (perhaps counterintuitively) those who did not watch pornography.
Another large study yielded similar results, specifically highlighting the decline in men. According to the study, about 1 in 3 men ages 18-24 reported no sexual activity in the past year.
This isn’t just a U.S. phenomenon. Similar patterns have been documented in other developed countries, where young people are marrying later and often having sex less frequently than their parents did at the same age.
I explained to Lauren and Jason that there may be a few good reasons for the decline.
- Young people are drinking less alcohol, potentially reducing risky sexual behavior and regretted encounters.
- Empowered conversations about consent and sexual boundaries may mean fewer people feel coerced into sexual situations they don’t want.
- For many, prioritizing careers, education and emotional readiness before partnering can be a thoughtful choice.
But there are also negative reasons for the decline. The primary concerning reasons are that:
- Younger adults (like Katie) have fewer romantic relationships. This fits what many therapists observe in practice — sex often doesn’t disappear first, connection does. Sexual opportunities shrink when fewer people are dating seriously, cohabiting or forming stable partnerships.
- Economic strain and delayed adulthood are also contributing factors. Stress, financial instability and delayed independence can make it harder to build relationships where intimacy thrives.
- Alcohol lands on the bad list too. It used to function as a tried-and-true social lubricant, but many young people are failing to replace it with other tools to build confidence. Furthermore, less alcohol use is seen as another example of the risk aversion so characteristic of young adults. In other words, young kids are anxious, and this impacts their ability to put themselves out there in the dating scene.
- Finally, we have to acknowledge the role of screens and devices. This was a big part of my work with Lauren and Jason. We often associate device dependency with kids and adults, but it affects people of all ages. Jason spent evenings flipping through multiple sporting events on his phone and messaging friends in his fantasy drafts. Lauren was a victim of scrolling cooking videos she never got around to trying. Lucky for Jason and Lauren, they bounced right back after a digital detox. But this isn’t often the case for younger adults who have never built those social skills to begin with. If young adults are spending less time in in-person social situations (where they learn to read cues, manage awkwardness, flirt respectfully and recover from rejection) it becomes easier to feel that love is abstract, risky or not worth the emotional effort.
Consequences of the sex recession
These factors largely explain how and why sexual activity is changing, not whether that change matters for health and development. Sexual contact, especially within intimate partnerships, isn’t just about physical pleasure. It’s deeply tied to psychological, emotional and relational health. A growing body of evidence links regular, consensual sexual expression with greater mental and emotional well-being, healthier relationships and better physical health.
Lauren’s concerns for Katie were valid. She worried her daughter might be “missing out” not just on sex, but on the exhilarating experience of the good, bad and ugly that comes with falling in and out of love.
Our conversation left Lauren and Jason with greater insight into how their own disconnect fit into a larger social problem and inspired with information to share with Katie in the hopes it might spark a constructive conversation about her own romantic future.
