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Life Goes On

Real Women, Real Stories

By Marilyn B.

Read Marilyn's story and track her journey…

I have nothing profound to say about Cycle #4, except that I am really sick of this s*!?*! (Excuse the crassness, but I'm trying to keep it real).

The week was predictable—some good days, some bad days. The good news is that the blood clot is under control—meaning no more injections, just oral meds. Although I get my blood checked tomorrow to confirm it's still OK.

My silver lining this cycle was my sister-in-law, Anthea, who was with me the entire week. She sat through my chemo, took me for my booster, held my hand, kept me hydrated, dried my tears and made me laugh. We've always had a very good relationship but never had the luxury to sit and talk for days on end. Once again I'm reminded that we need to make time in our crazy lives for the people we love and not wait for a crisis to force the issue. I hope when my treatment is over and I am back on track, Anthea and I will make a point to spend more time together.

Another HUGE shout-out to Donna and Debbie, who, along with Anthea, helped manage my daughter Emily's birthday party. It was touch and go on Friday, but I rallied at the last minute and was actually able to attend!

While I was wrapped up in my treatment cycle, life just kept on going. This month we said hello to my nephew's new baby (Marleaux), my niece Savannah will graduate from high school, my nephew Ryan got his master's degree, Emily turned 16 and Jonathan and I celebrated our 18th anniversary. On a sad note, a colleague died unexpectedly, much too young. Noting all the life events around me, I feel I've been a bit self-absorbed. I can't count the number of birthdays I've missed in the past four months or the missed opportunities to ask YOU how you're doing.

In the past week I've celebrated the fact that I have only two more cycles left and then I'm done! But I have also lamented the fact that I still have to do this two more times. In the dark of the night, I have confessed to Jonathan that I don't think I can do this anymore. He clearly stated that I didn't have a choice: I had to do it and I would do it. So, once again, I will pull myself together, set the alarm, go to my meetings, sit at my desk, answer the phone and try not to be so immensely self-absorbed.

Namaste, Marilyn

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