Are You Shoulding All Over Yourself?


I should be more outgoing. I should meditate more. I should cook more. I should clean more often. I should make more money. I should dress better. I should be a better wife, friend, mother, daughter….and the list goes on.

Do some of these phrases sound familiar to you? Damon Jacobs, author of "Absolutely Should-Less" and psychotherapist at Mental Health Counseling and Marriage and Family therapy of New York, says, "If women spent as much time counting their negative thoughts as they do their calories, then they would live much happier and healthier lives." How true!

All too often we measure ourselves up, coming to conclusions about how we can look better, act better or just be a better person; but really, what’s so wrong with who we are today? "The only thing preventing you from feeling better right now is your 'should' about reality," says Jacobs.

So, next time you find yourself thinking, “I really should…,” stop and give yourself a pat on the back for being exactly who you are. Ask yourself instead, "What do I really want?" You deserve it.

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