![Professional female doctor is talking to and diagnosing a young patient in the clinic](https://www.healthywomen.org/media-library/professional-female-doctor-is-talking-to-and-diagnosing-a-young-patient-in-the-clinic.jpg?id=50600645&width=1200&height=800&quality=85&coordinates=0%2C0%2C3%2C0)
iStock.com/BongkarnThanyakij
Sheryl Kraft, a freelance writer and breast cancer survivor, was born in Long Beach, New York. She currently lives in Connecticut with her husband Alan and dog Chloe, where her nest is empty of her two sons Jonathan. Sheryl writes articles and essays on breast cancer and contributes to a variety of publications and websites where she writes on general health and wellness issues. She earned her MFA in writing from Sarah Lawrence College in 2005.
Full BioLearn about our editorial policies
It didn't surprise me when I received this e-mail following last week's post about concierge medicine:
I wish I could afford to pay my doctor's $2,000 fee for concierge service, but I can't. As a result, I'll be switching over to a new physician in a few months. It's so important to me to build the trust and relationship I have with my existing doctor, but I'm afraid it's going to be even more difficult since doctors are more and more rushed and pressured these days. I'd love to hear any tips on how to handle this dilemma.
It turns out that for some time I've had an interest in this topic as well, stemming mainly from my own past experiences with the health care system many years ago when I was in the position of having to navigate it during my own illness.
And today, because of the state of the health system, the doctor-patient relationship is even more precious as well as precarious. The average time we spend per visit hovers around 11 minutes—or even shorter. Add in the fact that you've probably already spent more time in the waiting room than you will in the examining room, where you sit barely clothed on a hard table with little more to do but strain your ears to hear approaching footsteps. By the time the doctor arrives, you're no doubt a mess and heap of emotion. (An aside: I recently visited my gynecologist. I was surprised—and pleased—to see a sign that read, "Please feel free to bring your own bathrobe for your visit." Sure beats that rough, itchy paper gown you have to wear. At least it's a step in the right direction, no?)
Most patients are united on these complaints: the doctor doesn't listen; rushes me through my visit; is too quick to order a prescription or a test (some reports estimate that from one-fifth to nearly one-third of all medical tests are unnecessary). That's worrisome—but it only highlights the fact that, while defensive medicine might bear partial responsibility, you, the patient, must also bear some responsibility and enter into the relationship as a partner in your own health care. And that doesn't require intricate knowledge of medicine. Rather, it involves some planning and some practical tips
You might also want to read: Talking with Your Health Care Provider.