The Chosen One: Announcing an Adoption and Bonding With Baby
You decided that adoption was the perfect option for you and jumped through the hoops to get your child. Now what? Celebrate! Your new child deserves the same type of recognition that biological kids get, so start writing up announcements that your little one has arrived and show your new baby right away how much you love him or her.
It can be tough to decide on a time to let your friends and family know formally that you have adopted a child. If you chose a baby from another country, they're usually officially and completely yours once you bring them home. However, domestic adoptions can be a little trickier, since some states give biological parents up to two months to change their minds. While rare, losing your baby due to a change of heart can be devastating, so it may be best to hold off on a big celebration until you officially become your baby's parent.
As with any baby announcement, be sure to word the announcement in such a way that lets your loved ones know that you are simply sharing your joy, not requesting a baby gift. However, don't turn down the opportunity to have a baby shower, because your new child is surely something to celebrate.
You should begin the bonding process with your baby immediately. This is especially important for adopted children, because they may have memories of their previous caregiver, depending on their age. Hold them close and show affection often. Talk to them as much as you can so they get to know the sound of your voice and associate it with comfort and love.
Additionally, it's a good idea to be consistent with your baby so that they learn to trust and rely on you. Rituals like nightly readings of a favorite children's book or waking up to a certain song may help establish a bond.
It's normal to become fearful that you won't be a good mother to your adopted baby. Such anxiety is merely proof of how much you care. It's unlikely that your fears are true. All babies and children cry, throw tantrums and become distant at times. This is normal. During these times, you should reassure your child that you are there to help and to love them whenever they need it.