womenTALK: Blog

Tuesday, Feb 22nd 2011

Lessons I Learned from Vacation (and took home with me)

authored by Sheryl Kraft

I realize we can't all get away. But this winter – ESPECIALLY this winter, we all wish we could escape to a warm, tropical island where the only white stuff is in the form of sand.

Okay – don't hate me. I just got back from four days in the sun. La Samanna in St. Martin gets my vote as possibly the most beautiful place on earth. A beautiful hotel on its own private beach, relaxation comes easily and instantly. It was my Vitamin D fix. It was my sanity restored. It was my time to reconnect with my husband.

Although…the time leading up to vacation was anything but relaxing. All packed and ready to leave our house at 5AM, Alan checks Jet Blue's website to make sure our flight is on time. I hear him yell. Very, very loudly. "WHAT THE ^%&*&*???" I know something is wrong. Turns out our flight is scheduled for the next day – even though our printed confirmation clearly reads otherwise.

A panicked phone call to customer service follows and I am finally connected with a supervisor. "Oh, the flight was canceled back in November," she casually says. "You received an email, AND a phone message, in which you accepted the changes by pressing the number one on your phone."  I assure her that both my husband and I are extremely capable and on top of things, and had we accepted any change we certainly would have a). remembered  b). marked the change on our respective calendars and c). not have set our alarms for the middle of the night in order to leave the house before sunrise ON THE WRONG DAY. The bad (worse) news: there are no other flights out this day. Nada. The good news? I'm already packed so I can sleep a little bit later the next morning, when my "new" flight leaves.

At that moment, more than hating the fact that we are shortchanged on vacation time by one whole day, I hate, hate, hate electronic communication.

First Lesson Learned: Once we get to where we are going and we have to surrender our cell phones to the land of no reception, I begin to relax. Not having my Blackberry to check emails – my fingers are trained to jump to attention at the slightest detection of that insistent blinking red light – frees me up to do other things. Like nothing.

Second Lesson Learned: I CAN do nothing. I am of the fidgeting variety. I can't sit without doing something – reading, doing a crossword puzzle, checking my emails…you get it. In usual form, I am lugging things to the beach: my kindle, some puzzles, a few newsletters and magazines. It is into the end of the first hour of becoming frustrated by my crossword puzzle that I realize I am not doing what I love to do, which is very simple and requires nothing more than a few keen senses: watching the water, listening to the sounds of the surf, walking and hunting for shells, breathing in the clean, pure air. It's like meditation, but without trying.

Third Lesson Learned: Being out in the fresh air is a like a sedative – without the side effects. Why am I searching for the treadmill when everything I need is right here in front of me? I trade in the gym for some resistance walking (walking on the sand is hard! Seriously, this type of sand is not the powdery-soft variety but the larger-grained type that makes your feet sink…so you have to work your calf and quad muscles extra-hard to propel yourself forward). I manage to not only get the physical benefits from walking outdoors, but the mental ones as well. (Interesting to note that Science Daily reports a recent review of existing studies by the Peninsula College of Medicine and Dentistry that finds that there are benefits to mental and physical wellbeing from exercising in a natural environment compared with exercising indoors; like decreased tension, confusion, anger and depression.)  

Fourth Lesson Learned: My seasonal affective disorder, resulting in tension, anger and depression needs to be taken seriously. Being out of the cold and embraced by the warm air and sunshine makes me feel like a whole human being again. And if I can't take care of it by flying to the Caribbean (which I can't always do, naturally), I need to take care of it at home. That means bundling up and taking a walk outdoors (even though I can see my breath and the cold air stings my face); keeping active socially (even though bundling up and leaving the house after dark feels like a huge chore); making sure I take my Vitamin D and load up on whole grains, fresh fruits and veggies (even though I crave comfort foods, common because carb cravings seem to be related to decreases in serotonin activity) and getting enough – but not too much – sleep (you know those cold, dark mornings when it feels too tempting to stay under the covers? I do, too).

Fifth Lesson Learned: I love what I do. But I need to take a break from it every once in a while. Some days I get so involved with my work that I forget to eat. I lose track of time. I ignore phone messages and hate the fact that my dog is crying for a walk because that means having to stop what I'm doing. But then there are those other days…where my mind feels so overwhelmed by words, data, stuff, that it hurts. It feels like there needs to be someone in there directing traffic. It feels like the crowd is getting way too big and too rowdy for the room and that things are soon going to spiral out of control. Taking a break gives my mind a chance to wind down, air out and sit still for a while to ready itself for the next set of special guests. Only I have to remind myself to actually do it.

"You look so lost in thought. What are you thinking about?" Alan asks as I stare out toward the water.

"Nothing," I say.

Give yourself the gift of nothing.

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Jan 27, 2012 06:Jan 6 | Ronna said

I wrote them down already

I wrote them down already since I am preparing for a nice vacation myself. I've already booked with Green Bay hotels and I am looking forward to get there and have few days of relaxation.

Jan 30, 2012 11:Jan 11 | Sheryl said

nice to see you here, Ronna.

nice to see you here, Ronna. Hope you have a wonderful vacation!

Mar 01, 2011 13:Mar 1 | Melanie said

Everyone needs an extra large

Everyone needs an extra large dose of nothing at times. Some people have a hard time taking that dose. My man is one of them. He can handle nothing for about 10 minutes. Maybe. Then busy, busy, monkey brain again. Getting him to a place with no mobile phone coverage and ideally no electricity after X time at night (I kid you not) is the best way to get him to unplug.

Feb 27, 2011 16:Feb 4 | Casey said

Ohhhh, my fingers are trained

Ohhhh, my fingers are trained to jump on my phone every time it vibrates too. Total 21st century Pavlovian response. You're inspiring me to leave the phone behind and take a long walk in the gorgeous sunshine today!

Feb 25, 2011 17:Feb 5 | Alisa Bowman said

I find I really do need to go

I find I really do need to go SOMEWHERE ELSE to take a vacation. I can't pull off being home and doing nothing. I always end up turning on the computer.

Feb 25, 2011 12:Feb 12 | sarah henry said

Just did an interview with a

Just did an interview with a successful food entrepreneur who offered up this advice: to build a business you need to take breaks. Everyone needs time to relax, refresh, and get reinvigorated. Makes good, old-fashioned sense to me.

Vacay here I come!

Feb 24, 2011 19:Feb 7 | rosalba said

Lessons I learned!

My favorite exercise is run in the beach whit my son pushing me to go an extra mile! I love to breathe the salty air, the breeze in yor face, the feeling of peace, it's wonderful!

Feb 24, 2011 15:Feb 3 | Jane Boursaw said

The gift of nothing! LOVE

The gift of nothing! LOVE IT!!!

Feb 24, 2011 14:Feb 2 | Jennifer Margulis said

I'm fidgety too. I think

I'm fidgety too. I think learning to do nothing is a wonderful skill to acquire!

Feb 24, 2011 10:Feb 10 | Donna Hull said

Important lessons to learn, I

Important lessons to learn, I enjoyed reading about them. There is something to the idea of exercising outside. I find that it benefits not only my body but also my soul. That doesn't happen when I'm working out on the elliptical at the gym. As for the SAD, have you considered purchasing one of the lights to sit under? It's been a tremendous help to one of my friends.

Feb 24, 2011 01:Feb 1 | Kris said

Ahhh. This sounds lovely, and

Ahhh. This sounds lovely, and I'm glad that your trip helped you to recognize some changes you can make to improve your winter outlook.

Feb 23, 2011 20:Feb 8 | SusanJ said

Sounds amazing!! it's already

Sounds amazing!! it's already such a short trip, I hated to hear that it got shortened by a flight mixup. But I'm glad to hear that you made the most of it!

Feb 23, 2011 18:Feb 6 | Christinegl said

I have never thought I had

I have never thought I had SAD, but this post makes me wonder if perhaps that's one of the reasons behind my crabbiness this whole winter long!

Feb 23, 2011 17:Feb 5 | NoPotCooking said

Oh, sounds like you had a

Oh, sounds like you had a wonderful trip even if you were shortchanged a day! I have to say my parents just had a problem with flight notifications too. They got a text saying the flight was delayed an hour, so they waited an hour to leave only to get to the airport and realize the flight was leaving on time. No explanation!

Feb 24, 2011 12:Feb 12 | Sheryl said

Yes, the day we were

Yes, the day we were shortchanged was quickly made up for once we arrived, in that we had no time unwinding. Strange experiences abound with airlines these days, that's for sure~

Feb 23, 2011 16:Feb 4 | Kristen said

I like that--the gift of

I like that--the gift of nothing. I'm due for some sunshine too. I'm glad you got to finally get away, how frustrating!

Feb 23, 2011 09:Feb 9 | Sandra Gordon said


Well said. I vow to do nothing--soon, and not feel guilty about it.

Feb 24, 2011 12:Feb 12 | Sheryl said

Good! Let me know how your

Good! Let me know how your "nothing" goes. I'll bet it will be really "something."

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