Too Busy for Sex

Ask the Expert

Q:

Like most other women I know, I'm a busy mom. Where and how do I find time for sex when I have so many distractions?


A:

I suggest that you schedule time for your partner, just as you'd schedule a medical appointment, a massage, or a parent/teacher conference. Your relationship is just as important as the other things in your life for which you make time. Therefore, it is important to schedule time for your relationship as well.

The thing is, both you and your partner have to commit to maintaining a sexual relationship. While it might seem a bit cold and clinical at first to literally make an appointment with each other to have sex you will probably find that after a while you don't need to put it on the calendar. It will just happen!

The other thing to remember is that sexual activity doesn't take a tremendous time commitment. Think about it—most couples can probably go from sex play to post-coital cuddling in a short period of time. It doesn't always require a lot of time to carve out and think about the investment in your relationship.

One thing that might help is not waiting until bedtime to think about sexual activities. Instead, consider making your "date" around a time when the kids are still with a sitter or at a friend's house doing homework. Weekend mornings are another good option. Just make sure your door has a lock!

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