Jessie James Decker recalls walking out onto the stage to headline her own concert when a migraine attack hit. “Every note I sang felt like my head was going to explode,” she said. “It was awful.”
This was just one of many times when Decker recalls feeling like she had no choice but to power through her migraine pain.
Decker has lived with the condition for as long as she can remember. “I've suffered from migraine [attacks] since I was a little girl, but for a long time, I didn't understand what was happening,” she said. “I thought I just got really bad headaches.”
When a migraine attack would hit, she often experienced a dull, pounding pain. “I would feel like I needed to close my eyes and lie down,” she said, noting that it was so much more than a typical headache that you could treat with an over-the-counter medication and move on from. “Sometimes it would last for days,” she said. “I knew it was something more.”
When she turned 22, Decker met her husband, NFL player Eric Decker. After a few months of dating, she and Eric moved in together, and he began noticing a pattern and felt it had to be more than just a headache. “I was constantly complaining about my head, and he encouraged me to get it checked out,” said Decker.
With Eric’s encouragement, Decker underwent a full evaluation and was diagnosed with migraine disease. “It was validating after all those years of not knowing what was going on,” she said. The next step was to figure out how to take care of herself and find treatments that could help.
Learning to prioritize self-care
Looking back at life with migraine before diagnosis, Decker recognizes that she probably wasn't managing her health as well as she does now. “I've learned a lot over the years and become much better about taking care of myself.”
She admitted she’s always been someone who powers through. “My mindset was always, ‘Let's tough it out. Let's push through and get it done,’” she said. But after learning more about migraine, she realized she needed to prioritize both her mental and physical health.
There's no one-size-fits-all solution when it comes to migraine. “Some people try acupuncture, chiropractic care, medication or holistic approaches,” said Decker. “I've tried just about everything because when you're living with migraine, you want to find what works.”
She has learned to tune into her triggers and adjust her lifestyle accordingly. For instance, several years ago, she was doing very heavy weight training and realized it was triggering her condition. “I'm naturally strong, so my trainer kept pushing me to lift heavier and heavier,” said Decker. But every time she left the gym, she’d end up with a migraine attack that could last for days. “My husband was the one who noticed the connection and said, ‘We have to stop doing this. The heavy weights are hurting you,’” she recalled. Decker has since completely changed her workout routine. “Now I focus on bodyweight exercises and lighter dumbbells,” she said. “I still have to be mindful because workouts can be a trigger for me.”
Nowadays, when Decker feels a migraine attack coming on, she’ll soak in the hot tub, take a bath or find other ways to relax and calm her body. “Sometimes my husband will rub my neck,” she said. “For me, it's all about creating a calm environment and getting ahead of it.”
Having a partner who understands and can recognize the signs before she even says anything has been a blessing to Decker. “He'll tell me, ‘I've got the kids. Go take care of yourself,’” Decker said.
She’s happy to reveal that it’s thankfully been a long time since she’s had a really significant migraine attack because she’s become much better about managing her health and recognizing her triggers.
Getting in the way of life
One of the hardest parts of living with migraine for Decker was not being able to show up the way she wanted to. She recalled going to one of Eric’s football games during a terrible migraine attack. “The lights were bright, the crowd was loud, and I was sitting there suffering because I didn't want to miss it. I pushed through, but now that I'm older and have learned more, I understand that it's okay to take care of yourself first.”
She’s since learned that If you can't be the best version of yourself, it's hard to give your best to others. “When I feel good, I can show up fully for the people around me,” she said. “When I'm feeling terrible, I can't. That's why self-care is so important.”
Decker has also had to learn to slow down her schedule, noting that as a performer and entrepreneur, she’s prone to burnout, which she recognizes as one of her biggest triggers. “I tend to take on a lot because I feel like I can manage it all, but when I overload my schedule, it can lead to a migraine [attack],” she said. “I've learned to be more mindful about not putting too much on my plate in a single day.”
The importance of seeking out help
Over the years, Decker has learned what’s best for her migraine prevention and treatment. Looking back, she wishes she’d advocated for help sooner.
“Like a lot of people, I delayed getting help because it felt overwhelming,” said Decker. “You think about calling doctors, scheduling appointments, dealing with insurance, sitting in waiting rooms — it can feel like a lot.” She admitted that she probably ignored her symptoms for longer than she should have because she didn't want to deal with the process. But she’s since recognized the importance of getting the help you need. That message is one reason she partnered with AbbVie on its Love in Mind campaign, which encourages people with migraine to have honest conversations with their partners and healthcare providers (HCPs), seek personalized care plans and stop powering through migraine alone.
“I want to be an advocate and help spread the message that you don't have to suffer alone or in silence,” said Decker. “If something is going on, speak up and seek help.” She reiterated that her husband has been a crucial part in helping her to recognize and manage her condition. Her advice for loved ones of those suffering from migraine? “Pay attention to the signs and stay in tune with your partner.”
Read: How to Support a Loved One During a Migraine Attack >>
“My husband knows when a migraine is coming before I even say anything,” said Decker. “He's learned my signals over the years.”
She also reminds people to speak up about how they are feeling both to their families and HCPs. “Migraine is often invisible. It's not like a broken arm or an injury you can see,” she said. “If your partner doesn't communicate what they're experiencing, it can be hard to know how to help. That's why communication is so important.”
