
iStock.com/Raul_Mellado
Professor Emerita
Rutgers University of New Jersey
New Brunswick, NJ
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My partner and I have different views on sex because of our different backgrounds. Is there any way I can help my partner feel more comfortable discussing topics considered taboo?
Communicate, communicate, communicate. It is impossible to have too much communication, both verbal and nonverbal, in a good relationship. In fact, studies find that the more partners communicate, the greater their sexual and marital satisfaction may be. In addition, being able to communicate about her sexual needs is linked with a woman's sexual satisfaction. It's also important that you and your partner understand each other's preferences in bed and that there is an agreement between you and your partner. This tends to affect sexual satisfaction.
The first step, obviously, is to start the conversation. Don't do this in bed! Choose a time when the two of you have some uninterrupted time alone. You might make a date to do this. Start by telling your partner how you feel about him or her and your life together. Then ask your partner to tell you how he or she feels about your relationship-both in and out of bed.
As the conversation continues, try to follow this advice:
Above all, be patient and understanding. Also be aware that it may take several attempts before your partner truly opens up about his or her sexual past and its effects on your sexual interactions.
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