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Change
can be scary, even when it's a change you want to make. Yet,
it's possible to avoid feeling overwhelmed and to accept change,
take charge of it, and feel comfortable with it.
Even
if you've tried to make a similar change before--as happens
so often with starting to increase your physical activity
or eat more healthfully--you can learn from your previous
experiences to make your lifestyle changes ones you can sustain.
If
only…
Who hasn't
wished for an overnight miracle--a magic pill, or something
like it, that could quickly help us lose 20 pounds, or become
more fit, or adjust to a changing personal relationship?
Making
healthful change takes longer, however. University of Rhode
Island researchers, looking at people who wanted to reduce
their dietary fat, found that it took up to 18 months for
most people in the study to take action.1
Many
of us are ready to improve what we eat or increase exercise.2
People who succeed at change are more likely to follow a process,
one that has distinct stages. [For information on these stages
of change, click
here.]
You
control change
It's
important to take personal control of a change, say psychologists
Robert Brooks, Ph.D., Harvard Medical School, and Sam Goldstein,
Ph.D., University of Utah. In their book, The Power of
Resilience: Achieving Balance, Confidence, and Personal Strength
in Your Life, they emphasize that assuming responsibility
for a situation or change, recognizing what is in your control,
and taking ownership of your behavior concerning it, is empowering.
That
forms the core of what they call "the resilient mindset,"
a strength which can be learned and developed.
Such
resiliency fortifies against the feelings of helplessness
that often accompany change. It lets us not only accept and
adapt to change, but to confidently initiate it as well.
Making
change part of your life
Taking
charge of change can seem intimidating. How do you go about
doing that? And how do you stick to the change when the benefit
isn't seen immediately?
"Every
behavior at some point has to start out as novel or intentional.
But at some point it may become habit if it is repeated over
time in a stable context," says Judith A. Ouellette,
associate professor of psychology at the State University
of New York at Cortland. She co-authored an analysis that
found that creating a steady context for a new behavior helps
to secure and support that change.3
Taking
a medication every morning after you brush your teeth is one
way of creating such a context, she says. "Habits run
your everyday life," she adds. There are also what Ouellette
calls "non-use" habits. For example, if you don't
exercise, that becomes your habit.
She suggests
linking the change you want to make to a behavior that you're
already doing routinely and automatically. So, for example,
begin an exercise routine by scheduling the exercise after
you have had your morning cup of coffee and newspaper. "The
key to continuing the new behavior is that the context for
the new behavior has to be something in your own daily life,"
she says. With time, you accept the change as part of your
routine.
You can
create a context that helps you adjust to, and support, becoming
more physically active with this advice from Ouellette:
- Identify
four things you know you do every day.
- Pick
the ones that are at times of day when you might want to
exercise.
- Ask
yourself if you can realistically fit the change in to one
of those.
- If
you can, then try it. "Be consistent. That's the key,"
she says. "If one day you do it at night and one day
in the morning, that's not a stable context."
- Start
with small amounts of time and add a few minutes as your
enjoyment grows.
Keeping
change on track
Change
doesn't always run smoothly. In addition to looking toward
ourselves for strength, we also need to turn away from the
counterproductive behaviors we've relied on in the past, Brooks
and Goldstein say.
For example,
when we have unrealistic expectations about a desired change
(losing a lot of weight quickly, going to the gym six times
a week), we're more likely to fail. To counteract that pitfall,
the psychologists suggest creating an exercise or weight-loss
plan with "clearly specified and achievable short-term
goals." That lets you manage change, instead of allowing
it to manage you (which promotes a sense of helplessness).
Brooks
and Goldstein also note that an important aspect of taking
personal control of a change is to anticipate setbacks and
be prepared with a backup plan.
Let's
say you decide to increase your physical activity level by
taking 20-minute walks around your neighborhood with a friend,
three times a week. Everything goes well for a month or so.
Then your walking partner can't join you for a week or maybe
longer.
When
you have an alternative strategy (or several) to fall back
on--like taking your dog with you or walking by yourself,
with a radio for company--you can keep going.
"Barriers
to context can impede habit," Ouellette says. "You
might say, 'Oh yeah, I used to exercise every day after dinner,
but then I had a baby.' That's understandable, but you have
to now figure out where to fit that in. What works for you
today? Don't keep yourself to some past guideline that doesn't
work."
In that
way, you'll be able to take personal control and embrace the
change that once seemed overwhelming. Instead of feeling fearful
and helpless, you'll be rewarded with success and better health.
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August
starts out as the slowest month, with long, laid-back days
and not much on your to-do list. But it's also often a time
when we begin to anticipate changes that lie just ahead.