womenTALK: Blog

Thursday, Mar 25th 2010

A Tale of Two Diets (or, how changing your diet really works)

authored by Sheryl Kraft

Once upon a time there was a woman who woke up one morning and was fat. (At least, that's how it felt; like it happened overnight). Year after year, as the pounds multiplied, so did the new clothes in her closet, one in every size. She insisted she didn't eat any "bad" foods, like sandwiches or pizza, and hardly ever indulged in her favorite thing in the world, dessert.  She spent lots of time in her kitchen preparing wholesome, balanced and nutritious meals with the freshest ingredients. And at night, when she watched TV, she watched her calories by snacking on those newfangled 100-calorie packs. Why, oh why, she moaned, am I getting so FAT? Can I blame it on menopause? That must be it! she exclaimed, adjusting to her new size and girth. Might as well eat and enjoy myself, she decided; this is my new fate. So, she huffed and she puffed and she shoved the food in.

But the fairytale ended when she came upon the Truth. And the Truth was this: Out there, lurking, were nasty little DIET SABOTEURS that were blocking her path to wellness.

1. Holding onto your "fat" clothes. It's tempting, I know. This way you always have something to wear. But it gives you an excuse to yo-yo up and down without feeling that little nudge of a reminder to cut back because your waistband is cutting off your circulation.

2. Giving up "bad" foods. You don't have to give up things like pizza and sandwiches; just change their clothes. Be a sleuth and find the places that offer whole wheat crust and design-your-own pies. This way you can control what you eat. Or make your own. Same goes for sandwiches. A sandwich can be healthy, too: turkey on whole wheat with lettuce and tomato fits the bill (just don't slather on the mayo).

3. Picking while you cook. You’ve seen it, you've probably done it. You cook, you pick. And you pick a little more. But the truth is, all the little nibbles add up to a lot of extra calories. Instead, chew gum or keep a big glass of water or some cut-up crunchy veggies handy. Or even whistle while you work. It limits those I-can't-help-myself picking/tasting opportunities. 

4. Portion Size. Just because a food is healthy doesn't mean you can load up on as much as you want. Watch your portions, and you'll watch your weight. A formula made in heaven.That's why weight-loss spas are so successful (unless you sneak some candy into your suitcase): they serve yummy food in tiny portions. And – surprise. You don't need to eat as much as you think to feel satisfied. An easy trick for portion control: use a salad plate instead of a dinner plate for your main course. It tricks the eye into a full plate. And it's the correct portion, most likely. Then divide it in half and fill one side with fruits or vegetables, leaving the rest for protein and starch in equal portions.

5. Snack packs. They can pack on the pounds. Not only are they not eco-friendly, but these packs don't usually contain what they promise (an "oreo" is not a true "oreo," but instead a thin chocolate wafer). They'll likely leave you unsatisfied and reaching for more. Before you know it, you've eaten three or four. (And eating in front of the TV is particularly dangerous: it equals mindless munching).

6. Restaurant dining. Sure, it's nice to go out and relax, but try to do it mindfully. Let me count the ways a restaurant can do you in (sorry to be a spoilsport, I like eating out just as much as you probably do). First, the bread – tempting when it's put in front of you and you're starving, right? But if it's there, you'll eat it, and I dare you to stop at one piece. Bread and butter - what's better? You can try sitting on your hands, or you can have the bread basket removed from the table. And be wary of too much alcohol, which can really unleash your inhibitions. I don't mean you’ll be dancing on the table, but I mean you'll be eating all you want without giving any thought to it. (And that likely includes the most fattening dessert on the menu.)

7. Blame menopause. Well, partly. Most of us begin to notice a weight change during perimenopause; on average women gain about a pound a year during this time. And after menopause, the fun continues. That's why it's important to realize that since your body might need fewer calories, you need to be extra-diligent about how you divvy those up. 

8. Bonus tip (my favorite): Say no to deprivation. If you have a sweet tooth but deny yourself something sweet (or you love carbs but think of them as poison) you'll only crave it more and eat double the amount when you finally  can't help yourself any longer. I mean, willpower will only go so far. So, go ahead and indulge – but just a little. It will cut the craving and save you from bingeing later. Make the chocolate dark and the pasta whole-wheat, and you'll do yourself a really big favor.

This Matters> All is not lost. Exercise and awareness go a long way in keeping your weight in check and those nasty diet saboteurs at bay.

Once this woman learned the diet zappers, she decided to slowly change her ways. Old clothes got the boot and exercise and mindfulness came into her life. And as she regained her sense of control, her stress (and extra fat) slowly melted. She felt more energetic and happier than she had in years.

And she lived happily ever after.

The End.

For more on midlife and transitions, click here and here.

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Comments

Mar 27, 2010 14:Mar 2 | Meredith said

This post, as I read it

This post, as I read it again, is really about learning to be honest with oneself.

Mar 26, 2010 19:Mar 7 | Alisa Bowman said

Lately I've been trying to do

Lately I've been trying to do something really simple, based on something a nutrition expert told me. It's this: eat more fruit and vegetables. Oddly, it works. I mean, really. Could it be that simple? It is. They are low cal. They are filling. They are healthy. They keep you regular. They fill your body with what you need, so you are less likely to crave crap. I snack on fruit--having 3 or so servings a day and have veggies at every single meal. I don't think about what I can't have. It's a matter of calorie displacement.

Apr 01, 2010 11:Apr 11 | Sheryl said

That's great to have found

That's great to have found such a simple solution. I love fruit, too, and am happy to snack on it.

Mar 26, 2010 19:Mar 7 | Christine said

These are wonderful tips. I

These are wonderful tips. I needed to read them. I think I eat the worst of anyone in our household. Thank you!

Mar 26, 2010 18:Mar 6 | Jesaka said

Yay for saying "no" to

Yay for saying "no" to deprivation! I'm with you on that one. Due to a doctor-ordered soy-free diet, I stopped eating out; it was too frustrating. Then, when I did start eating at restaurants again, I found that I didn't enjoy it as much as I used to. I could tell the food was salty--both by taste and how clothes would fit the next day. Funny what you notice when you make changes. Here's to your happy ending!

Apr 01, 2010 11:Apr 11 | Sheryl said

I'm with you on the salt

I'm with you on the salt thing, Jesaka. I am so salt sensitive that just about everything I eat - especially when I'm out - is too salty for me.

Mar 26, 2010 17:Mar 5 | Jennifer Margulis said

Good fairy tale!

So true, everything you write here. I think, especially, mindful eating and mindful indulging go a long long way toward successful dieting.

I wrote a post about pizza (link is here: http://mothering.com/jennifermargulis/kids-and-food/are-you-a-pizzaholic...) and was surprised that no one commented on how bad pizza CAN be for you... Seems there are a lot of pizzaholics out there! But if you make it with a whole grain crust and lots of veggies it's a lot healthier (and yummier too)

Mar 26, 2010 15:Mar 3 | Almost Slowfood said

Great advice!! I use to - and

Great advice!! I use to - and still occasionally do - be really bad about the portion sizes. Now, I try to do like Michael Pollan says: something to the effect of you can eat whatever you want as long as it's not processed and mostly fruits and vegetables.

Apr 01, 2010 11:Apr 11 | Sheryl said

Yes, those portion sizes can

Yes, those portion sizes can really trip you up! Especially with pasta, I think. The recommended portion - is a zillion times smaller than what you are normally served in a restaurant. WE have to re-train our brains!

Mar 26, 2010 10:Mar 10 | joan pagano said

A Tale of Two Diets

Loved the blog!!!Thanks for conjuring up such an engaging fairy tale to dispel myths and offer sound guidance in a creative, amusing story.

Mar 28, 2010 09:Mar 9 | Sheryl said

Thanks for visiting, Joan. I

Thanks for visiting, Joan. I know that you are already well-versed with all these rules!

Mar 26, 2010 07:Mar 7 | Nancy Monson said

Great post, Sheryl, and boy

Great post, Sheryl, and boy do I need it. I am perimenopausal and it has gotten SO MUCH harder to manage my weight--whether it's emotions, hormones, I don't know what, it's just HARD.

Mar 25, 2010 18:Mar 6 | Roxanne said

OK. Stop spying on me. :o)

OK. Stop spying on me. :o) Too true. Too true.

Mar 25, 2010 17:Mar 5 | MyKidsEatSquid said

I'm trying to shift my kids'

I'm trying to shift my kids' mindset about dessert. Instead of cake or candy, we have fruit with nutella. And for cookies, I always try to use at least half wheat flour and throw in some flax seed. In fact, right now I'm making some dark chocolate wheat bread from a new cookbook I'm trying out. We'll see how it goes. And yes, those snack packs are deceiving!

Mar 28, 2010 09:Mar 9 | Sheryl said

You have some really good

You have some really good ideas. I'll have to try the nutella/fruit combo. And I hope to learn how to make the dark chocolate wheat bread you're making - please come back and share the recipe!

Mar 25, 2010 16:Mar 4 | Kris said

Good advice. And yes, as I've

Good advice. And yes, as I've gotten older it's much, much harder to treat myself to sweets and such without it going straight to my butt.

(Ha! My captcha words: firm and grainier)

Mar 25, 2010 13:Mar 1 | Melanie said

Salad plate

I'm a big fan of using small plates for my portions. It does feel like you are eating more. It is also the only way that I can get my man to visualise that I need less food than he does!

Mar 28, 2010 09:Mar 9 | Sheryl said

Melanie, It's amazing how the

Melanie, It's amazing how the small plate "trick" really works.

Mar 25, 2010 11:Mar 11 | Susan Johnston said

I love a happy ending! I'm

I love a happy ending! I'm guilty of picking while I eat and not controlling my portions, too. :)

Mar 25, 2010 09:Mar 9 | Donna Hull said

Excellent suggestions,

Excellent suggestions, Sheryl. I especially like the one about not depriving yourself. Every time I do that it backfires. Exercise is also key. In my life, when things get busy, exercise is the first item that I drop from the to do list. In 2010, I'm trying to change that to exercise being the first thing I do on my list.

Mar 28, 2010 09:Mar 9 | Sheryl said

Donna, I agree that it's so

Donna, I agree that it's so important to fit in exercise but so many times life gets in the way. Hopefully 2010 will be an exercise-first year for you!

Mar 25, 2010 09:Mar 9 | Alexandra said

I enjoyed your fairy tale! I

I enjoyed your fairy tale! I have found that it is so much harder to remove the weight once one is over 60. So, I have become more careful. I try to trick my body. Instead of dessert, I prepare a nice tall mug of organic herb tea. Usually this works. Also, I try to distract myself and do something different, away from food when I get cravings. It does take discipline, but I have discovered the pounds gained over the winter do come off, especially with the advent of spring when it is easier to get out and exercise.

Mar 28, 2010 09:Mar 9 | Sheryl said

Alexandra, It sounds like you

Alexandra, It sounds like you have the awareness to do the right things. Yes, it's harder and harder once you get older, but with some discipline it does work.

Mar 25, 2010 09:Mar 9 | marthaandme said

Thanks for these tips. I

Thanks for these tips. I still am not able to get rid of the fat clothes, although I moved them out of my closet and put them away.

Mar 28, 2010 09:Mar 9 | Sheryl said

Well, Marthandme, at least

Well, Marthandme, at least they're out of sight...which is a step!

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