managing stress
Staying Strong in Uncertain Times
- View difficulties as challenges that are meaningful to take on and master, says Dr. Walsh. Feel the negative emotions, but don't get paralyzed by adversity. Accept what is beyond your control, focus on taking initiative and making the best of the options you have. Research shows that more resilient people adjust their emotional responses to suit the actual demands of the situation. Those who are less resilient show prolonged emotional response to all events, regardless of whether the situations are threatening or not.
- Evaluate your strengths and resources. Think about what you do well and about other challenges you've faced and handled, as well as who you can count on to be on your side. (If you're stuck in a negative zone, speaking with a counselor or therapist can help you sort these out.) Identify others who've handled similar crises, take inspiration from them and talk with them, if possible, about the actions they took.
- Adopt an attitude of hope, even when things appear bleak. Look into the future with "positive illusions" that foster healthy resilience. Keeping a forward focus may take persistence through frequent setbacks or irrevocable losses, but it helps you see how to build a beneficial outcome. "Maybe there's no way to go back to the life we had before, and we have to envision and create a new life for ourselves," Dr. Walsh says.
- Strengthen your body. Become more active, whether by walking more, lifting small hand weights or doing exercises in a chair. Improving your physical strength helps your emotions and sustains your resilience. If you've been eating a lot of high-fat or sugary foods as a way of dealing with tough times, start replacing those foods with more vegetables, fruits, nuts and seeds. Healthful food choices improve brain function and mood, support your resilience and give you vital fuel for taking on challenges.
- Reach out for support from your "lifelines"—your friends, children, relatives, faith or activities that give you spiritual satisfaction, Dr. Walsh says. Don't think you should be able to handle bad events on your own. "All the research shows that we're stronger by reaching out," she notes. Join with others facing similar situations and become lifelines for each other. Pets can provide support that is as strong as many human bonds and also aid resilient healing.
- Create connections with others. Find purpose in something beyond yourself. Dr. Fleig-Palmer advises doing volunteer work. Studies show that helping others gives strength and healing to those doing the work. "When you are out of a job, you are feeling helpless. When you volunteer, you are in a giving position. It boosts your self-esteem and resiliency," she says.
- Discover the power of the positive. Although it's important to share sadness and negative feelings when facing tough times, you need to then focus on what you can do next. Choose to be with people who take a positive approach to life. Pause every day to think about the good things you have, no matter how simple—the view from your window, a helpful neighbor or music you enjoy listening to. Thinking about the good in your life summons up positive emotions, which increase resilience and life satisfaction.
