Health Center - Sexual Health
Do you have questions about sex? "Why don't I want it anymore?" "Why doesn't my partner want me?" "How can I spice things up?" "How will my sex life change as I age?" Relax. We've got the information you need and the answers you crave so you can have a satisfying and enjoyable sex life at any age.
Good Relationship, So-So Sex Life? 3 Ways to Turn Up the Heat
Do the laundry. Check. Bathe the kids. Check. Pay the bills. Check. Go grocery shopping. Check. Have sex. Check.
Has sex become just another activity on your to-do list? If so, you’re not alone. “There seems to be a growing trend in women having sex for obligation, not enjoyment purposes,” says Naomi Greenblatt, MD, a board-certified psychiatrist specializing in women’s health. “Women say there are only 24 hours in the day, and they simply are not prioritizing sex.”
In a new HealthyWomen survey on female sexual health, women expressed a disconnect between what they feel is important for good sexual health and how satisfied they are in those areas. For instance, while 59 percent say their level of enjoyment during sexual activity is extremely or very important, only 41 percent report they are very or extremely satisfied in this area. And it doesn’t seem to be a priority for many. Less than half of respondents say that their sex life is very or extremely important to their relationship satisfaction.
The benefits of an active sex life
An active sex life has many benefits—psychologically, relationally and even physically. “While pleasure and intimacy with your partner should be the primary drivers to have sex, the health and wellness benefits are a big bonus,” says Dr. Greenblatt. She says a regular sex life can result in decreased stress levels, less chronic pain, improved immune function, a younger appearance and a firmer figure. Sex not only releases beneficial hormones, but it can burn 85 to 250 calories and sculpt muscles in a fairly short amount of time.
However we all know that just because something’s good for you, doesn’t mean it’s necessarily enjoyable. But sex isn’t like getting your teeth cleaned, and it can be extremely pleasurable. So, how can you enhance your sexual connection and make sex more … well, fun? Try these three suggestions.
Expand your sexual menu
New York City-based psychotherapist and sex therapist Suzanne Iasenza, PhD, says that couples tend to have a “one-item sexual menu.” In her article, “What is Queer About Sex?: Expanding Sexual Frames in Theory and Practice,” for Family Process magazine, she compares sex to dining out. “Imagine going to a restaurant and ordering the same meal every time.”
