Firing Up Sexual Desire
It's not just menopausal women who may contend with a reduced interest in sex. Younger women who use hormonal contraception may also experience lowered libido, Dr. Carpenter notes. A 2006 study also showed that 26 percent of women aged 20 to 49 who became postmenopausal due to surgery (such as hysterectomy) had lowered sexual desire.
Upending old stereotypes about sexual satisfaction, Dr. Carpenter's research found that, for heterosexuals, midlife helps better balance what a man and woman want from their sexual interactions. Although still valuing the emotional content of their sex lives, women's satisfaction was tied to having orgasms and spending more than 15 minutes in sexual contact. Men rated having love in the relationship as contributing most to their satisfaction.
Loss of desire and dissatisfaction with sex, Dr. Carpenter believes, are more influenced by what she calls "social factors" than low hormone levels. Those factors include physical exhaustion from crammed work and family schedules, the staleness that often creeps into a long-term sexual relationship, concerns about losing youthful attractiveness and the belief that sex in midlife or older is somehow…well, just icky. Then, too, if you've been unhappy in your relationship, lowered sexual desire may become "a disincentive not to bother," she says.
Flying solo
Where does sexual desire fit in your life when you don't have a partner? As with women in partnered relationships, some single women shut down their feelings of desire, others feel frustrated either by sexual urges or the lack of them and still others maintain or restore sexual feelings on their own.
"Realize that you are a fully sexual being whether or not you're in a relationship," says Price, who urges single women to enjoy their own bodies. "Touch yourself and pleasure yourself. Wear clothes that feel sensuous. Get massages and hug your friends to satisfy your hunger to be touched."
If you'd like to be in a relationship with someone else, she adds, nurturing your sexual zing on your own often increases the attraction potential partners feel toward you.
Relighting your fire
If you want to restore your feelings of sexual desire, you can. You may need to try more than one approach to find the best combination of answers for you. Here are several suggestions:
